Tuesday, April 13, 2010

getting close! but getting close to what, exactly?

last weekend i got WAR to lvl 74 and attained the Medal of Altana (highest current campaign decoration).

i was at a bar last night talking to random folks about life and it dawned on me that i spent all of middle school, high school and university totally engrossed in japanese culture stuffs... all the while hoping that i would be able to somehow come to japan to live and/ or work.

now that my 3 year JET experience is coming to an end (i'll go home this august), i'm left with the feeling of, "wow. holy crap, what do i do now?"

this is actually the first time this feeling has really taken over me. before, like in the late summer when i knew the countdown for my last year had started (it was a matter of choice by the way. had i wished it, i could have stayed for a 4th year), i didnt really think much about moving on with life or living back in america again because well, i still had a whole year left of adventuring to do here. now i have like... a little more than one season of adventuring left haha.

i guess i should start eating as much conbini onigiri as i can from now on or something.

one freshman boy guessed that i was 30 years old. what the heck? do i look like i'm 30 now? man, that's why being 25 kind of sucks. at least when you're 20-24 it's cool because no matter how old the kids guess you are, you always have the confidence of truth in your actual young age. but it's like when you're 25-29 and the kids are like, "uhhh... 30?" it hurts! because you think in your head, "damn... do they actually think i look 31-34 and are really trying to round down to 30 to make me feel better?" and then when you're like, "no i'm actually 25" they're like, "aw boo, so close!" and then i cry on the inside lol.

in all honesty though, my super youthful-looking days are nearly over. now if i dont conceal my dark under-eye circles it's like, "ah, good morni--holy crap! you look so... so tired today! did you sleep well last night?!" and it's like, "no i feel wonderful actually thanks... this is just how my face looks like normally..."

[the "oh snap, you look so tired!" comment is actually one of my biggest pet peeves EVER. now i'm a pretty mellow person and it takes a heck of a lot of effort to yield an angry emotional response from me, but this comment will do it. i know japanese culture is all about revering the hard-working citizen and all, but for me, i dont need the lip service. please. never say this to me no matter how tired i may look.]

which reminds me of a funny encounter i had with a teacher early into my first year here in japan! (think i might have written about this before in a post a long time ago, but here it is again cause why not huh)
me: "good morning!~"
older lady teacher: "mornin~ ... !!! ... hey pham sensei, yknow what... we staff members are allowed to wear uh, makeup and uh, color and style our hair and uh, things like that... so... it's ok you know! go ahead and uh, ... yeah! so it's perfectly fine ok? maybe a little something here *hand motion to eye area* like the other lady teachers! uh anyway, talk to you later!"
me: "..."

and the day after was like the first day i started regularly using concealer and mineral foundation lol.


and it's final; i cant NOT be miqote lol.


Stephen said...

::pat pat:: Japan is great. Make sure to have a wild time after August and before you come back.  I was going to write "after you graduate," for some reason, but I guess it really is kind of like that.

But never fear, America is after all the land of opportunity so you'll be able to do whatever you want once you come back.

I stopped asking "How are you?" to my students because every single time it would be "I'm tired." They believe even if you're not tired you should say I'm tired otherwise you're lazy or something. That's why you shouldn't wear makeup and be like yeah I'm tired, why aren't you tired? You must not be working as hard as me...

Stephen said...

Also are you sure this recent rush of feelings of "What do I do now?" isn't more due to you reaching level 74 than leaving Japan?

neoPootling said...

theyre raising the lvl cap to 99 soon actually haha like a true ff


Bakudannar said...

There's an awesome Japan rant I read on Kotaku.


neoPootling said...

man that dude has got it down

awesome read lol

ジャスティン said...

I hope I have never said what has been deemed the unmentionable. Anyway, don't let the kids guessing your age get you down. They have all these wild guesses. According to the kids, I'd be at the youngest 19 to 38 at the oldest. Yes, a kid actually once thought I was 38. I think they just can't fathom any teacher to be younger than 30. lol